Today is one of those days when I sit back, and think about things. I’ve been very caught up in real life and don’t often pay attention to what is going on in the web. It is interesting once you start to take a new look at things and see what’s been going on while I’ve been gone living my life. To say that some things don’t bother me upon initial inspection would be a lie. The difference is, I don’t let things bother much more than that anymore. Something might annoy me and then poof, half an hour later it’s gone from my conscious mind. I remind myself that I don’t use my blog as a public means to go at it with people any longer. I found myself reacting to something this morning and posted about it here. Come on Nicole, you are better than this.
I am 37 years old. I would hope at this point, life has taught me something if not nothing. I like to think that all of the introspective work I have done on myself in the last three years has allowed me to have better control of my emotions and my actions. I have learned to become many things, but mostly an observer who watches and listens instead of someone who talks and acts. I really think the only thing that bothers me is the fact that I can manage to allow my nephew to get under my skin haha. I’ve got work to do and don’t have any time to pay attention to others. My focus is what can I bring to the table and still give people who are interested in me something to look at or listen to. That’s all.
I’m not going to lie and say that my focus has been 100% on what I have been doing here over the last year. Life has a way of getting in the way of things sometimes. When your attention is pulled away from something and you lose that driving force behind you it isn’t always easy to get that feeling back. My creative juices have not been fed in a long time and I feel that there are days when I cannot produce anything. It’s hard to make yourself want to sit in front of the computer all day waiting on cam shows too. But slowly the urge is coming back to me. I can’t promise that I will ever be back in 100% full swing of any of it. The only thing I can promise is that when the creative spark hits, I will give you something new. I guess ultimately is that I don’t have the hunger like I used to because my livelihood does not depend on the sales I make from my blog in the way it does for others.
Does this mean that I can’t be bothered to do new things? No, absolutely not. It means I have to find my inspiration to do these things again. As time progresses and I start to see what people are really looking for, my focus will change and I will be offering those things to those people. For now you can find me if you want phone sex, or want to buy fetish videos, or enjoy erotic audio clips.
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I have started a new video series that is now available for download via niteflirt or clips4sale.com. For more details on how you can get your hands on any of the erotic audios or sissy, feminization videos that I have created in the last week, please click on the widget posted to see all that I have to offer at this time.
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I recently wrote that I have started to offer erotic audio clips that are specialized in fetishes that I enjoy. As promised I did record a new one that I call the “Birth of A Cuckoldress”. This is a blatant and explicit account of my beginnings with interracial sex and discovering that I prefer black men and black cock over other men. It’s when I realized that there are two kinds of men in this world. The kind of men who provide a comfortable life for you, and the kind of men who fuck you like there is no tomorrow and make your eyes roll into the back of your head. I came to this realization early on in life because I was lucky enough to have my first experience with a black guy to be one with an monsterous black cock. Woot! Lucky me haha!
There truly is only one way I would ever get married. The only way I would get married is if the man I was with comes to full terms with the fact that he is only there to provide a nice comfy nest for me to feather. Unless of course I could find a man with a big cock and a big bank account, but unfortunately that is seldom the case. In any event, those with a penchant for Cuckold fetish would like to get their hands on this audio clip right here. It’s an orgasm for your ears, or something like that. 
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Have you ever harbored fantasies about a fat bottomed woman like me ordering your jerk your cock for her while you wish you could have your way with her ass? Well in one of my latest projects that is exactly what I do. I have a brand new guided masturbation fantasy audio available for listening pleasure. My guided masturbation is sure to be explicit and very detailed to keep your cock very very happy. The creative juices are flowing and not only do I benefit, but you do as well with hot perverted porn for your ears.
I am not 100% sure what I am going to be doing this weekend. The house is definitely going to be quiet because it will be only adults here. So I think what I am going to do is start a new series of video clips that will be for sissies. I think it will be great fun making some special fetish series of videos. But this is optimistic thinking, LOL. I may end up just sleeping all weekend long and taking calls at night. I have another audio that I have available too but that is for another post. For now I am going to go back to watching Marley and Me and enjoying my Friday night.
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My adult BBW career has spanned over eight years on the internet. Yep, it is hard to believe that I have been at it as long as I have but it is true. Now that’s not to say that things haven’t changed for me, because they have. I am not focused on running a fully maintained member BBW website anymore but I am still committed to entertaining and interacting. Frankly, it’s more personal. And this is the thing over the years that I have observed time and time again from those who have emailed me or chatted with me. They want to get to know more about me. Well what better way to get to know more about me and more importantly, letting me get to know more about you than when we are doing something that is intimate and private.
Now let me state because I am asked this frequently, I am not an escort. I do not meet people to spend time with them in person. I never have been and have no intention of ever being so. What I am talking about is our private phone conversations and private webcam sessions. When I am talking to a man, I want him to feel like he is the most important person to be paying all of my attention to. What defines a fantasy girl to you? Is a fantasy girl that unattainable, out of reach beauty who will only allow you to look at her? Or is she the woman who can weave your fantasy into life with her words, voice, body AND mind?
I believe that there is something lacking when you only observe a woman in a photo or a video and she is not doing or saying those specific things that make you experience that feeling of mind-blowing sexual arousal. It would be like having sex with a lover who does not pay attention to the places you like to be touched, or the kinds of sexy acts you enjoy that give you true pleasure. If I were to go down on a man and didn’t pay attention to the moans he makes, or the intake of breath when he feels something really good, or noticing his complete silence then I would completely suck at giving head. More importantly, all of the things that are not sexual that go along with that are what makes that connection even better. The laughing and getting each other’s jokes and really just talking are the things that really break the ice when you are being intimate.
Just something to ponder… 
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Smallest Penis contest on Howard Stern
Don’t even ask me how I came across this tonight because I don’t watch Stern even though I do think he is funny. Sometimes I am even shocked as to what people will do on his show and how much schlong he features in his on-air studio. I know a lot of you might be laughing, the fuck knows that I sure as shit am. I love laughing at little dick men. I think there is no use for them other than for comic relief because those little dicks aren’t filling any cupcakes. But do you realize that I can almost guarantee that at least 98% of the guys who showed up for that contest wanted to show those nipple dicks off on T.V. so hot women can laugh at them and also so they could feel the humiliation of being full frontal with nothing hanging at all on a radio show with huge a huge fan base. I mean come ON, you know that Howard has always got hot porn stars and wannabe porn stars up on his show all the time, so I know how these little fucker’s minds work.
Just take a look at the lack of size on some of them. WTF dudes? One guy’s junk was so fat that his dick was inverted and his balls looked like pussy lips. He looked like he had a Vajayjay hahahahaha!!!!! I’ve seen guys on cam like that before. They like pushing their little dick into their fat pussy, freaks. These guys are a prime example of why a fat chick like me would not be fucking a guy as small as any of those. Especially that fat guy. LOLOL I’m sorry, I know that sounds like extremely horrible but HEY… I’m all about getting off with a big cock, I don’t waste my time, it’s too precious. And if I wanted my pussy only licked, I would be a lesbian. I need cock baby and big cock at that on a guy who doesn’t have a pussy mound engulfing his junk.
Man, the people I could put on blast. Don’t get me wrong because I am so so tempted to blast a couple of people that make me laugh every time I think about them attempting to have sex. But, enough of that because I’m not about to put any people’s names on here since I know at least one of the parties likes to read my blog from time to time. It would also imply that I am bitter towards some people and that’s not the case. Instead I would much rather channel that into some hard-core, small penis, phone humiliation and what people may not realize from me is that I am exactly that. Hardcore. And relentless when it comes to chopping your itty bitty clitty committee dicklet down to size.
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